“In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise.” – Proverbs 10:19
Conversation, disagreement, and even debate are tools of civilized human communication. It has been such since the beginning of time, and it will never change. Our ability to vocalize our opinions is a legally protected right, at least in this country. Jesus Himself not only listened to others, but also discussed and even debated with the religious leaders of His time. Having a contrary position and sticking up for that position is not evil or wrong.
Trying to verbally trap and humiliate another person is ALWAYS wrong.
We live in a generation where civil disagreement and reasoned debate has been replaced with Internet memes and “drop the mic” statements. We see it most often during election seasons, but it’s becoming more and more common in everyday discourse. Social media has become rife with this type of behavior. What started out as a platform for staying connected with friends and family has now been relegated to 90% petty arguments about politics, religion, music … and cat videos. A whole lot of cat videos. There are so many people that I know to be good Christians that become someone entirely different behind a keyboard and monitor.
Can we choose not to follow or listen to those that hold contrary beliefs? Absolutely. Can we choose to disassociate ourselves with people that we believe are amiss in their thinking? That’s our choice. Can we even verbally disagree with someone’s opinion that has been put on a public forum? Although it’s usually wiser to ignore and move on, we do nothing wrong by respectfully disagreeing. However, there is never a situation where degradation of someone’s character is biblically permissible.
If, during a discussion, we are waiting to decimate someone with our argument, we have already lost the dispute. Having to get in the last word shows zero love and puts a spotlight on us. God gets no glory when we run down another one of His kids. In I John 4:20, John writes, “If someone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?” When we “drop the mic” we are simultaneously dropping our robe of righteousness, our garment of praise, and our covering of integrity. No one wants to be on the battlefield naked, but we are doing just that.
I know that boiling sermons down to witty one-liners is the chic thing to do right now. Rhyming titles using alliteration or droll whimsy are fun and can stick in your head. There isn’t anything wrong with wit as long as it’s not used as a weapon against someone else. Sarcasm is probably the second language in my home, and I’m not bragging about that, but it’s mostly in fun. However, my facetious humor can quickly turn biting if I’m not careful. I have to bite my tongue far too often because the thoughts I have, while funny or poignant, are not kind. And there is no excuse to not be kind. In Romans 12:18 Paul writes, “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” In other words, we can’t control the other guy, but we can certainly control what comes out of our mouth (or types from our fingertips).
Someone disagreeing with our view is not a battle cry. We don’t have to take the bait. And we certainly don’t have to take cheap shots at people who we feel are in error. Are we praying for them? The answer is usually no. Are we basing our judgments on personal experiences? Again, usually not. Normally our outrage is a few “cherry-picked” statements that someone else has pieced together to make things sound entirely more nefarious than they are. Even if our assessment of someone or their view is completely correct we are in the wrong for attacking their integrity. Ephesians 6:12 reads, “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” People are not our enemies. Period.
We are not the Bible police. We are not the judge, jury, and executioner of brothers and sisters in Christ. We are not those who don’t know how to love. Let’s not look to go to war with other Christians. Let’s not seek out opportunities to argue and debate. Paul writes in II Timothy 2:14, “Remind them of these things, charging them before the Lord not to strive about words to no profit, to the ruin of the hearers.” Let’s do our part not to destroy the unity of the kingdom. Let’s lift each other up!